At what age do kids understand sarcasm?

The other day we did some yard work for our elderly neighbor. She asked for some of her shrubs to be cut to about a foot off the ground. Max was working on it, cutting them a bit too short. A friend of ours (engineer, detail guy) came up to him and showed him about where he should be cutting. Max looked at him and said "why don't you go in my house and get a marker and mark on each branch where exactly you want me to cut each one!" Oh, if only he was being sarcastic... that would have been awesome!

The summer we went to Africa?

Gerald and I went to parent/teacher conferences this week. We met with Max's teacher. She showed us his personal narrative in which he was to write about what he did during the summer. "Max wrote about his trip to Africa," she said. Seeing Gerald and I looking at each other, she turned to us and said "you did go to Africa didn't you?"

Want a good laugh?

Annual Neologism Contest

I thought this was funny enough to share with all of you. The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are:

1. Coffee(n) the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted(adj) appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate(v) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade(v) to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly(adj) impotent.

6. Negligent(adj) describes a condition in which you absent-mindedlyanswer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph(v) to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle(n) olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence(n) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash(n) a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle(n) a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude(n) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon(n) a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster(n) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism(n) - back by popular demand: The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent(n) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

I am thankful for...

Today Max's class did the school assembly. They all were to say what they were thankful for. Max was last and he said "I am thankful for my mom because she keeps me company." Awwww... isn't that sweet. His principal came up to me afterwards and asked if I knew what he was going to say. I had to admit that when I went to his classroom before the assembly and Max saw me, he erased "my dog" and put in "my mom!" He's no dummy!

Wake up sleepy head

Max has asked me to go to his school with him to talk to his principal. Something needs to be done about starting school at 8 o'clock, he says. It's not good for children!