Bikinis at 6?

So I was reminded this weekend of my son's definition of a bikini. We were in Florida for Spring Break and he started singing a song about a bikini. Wondering how my 6 year old knew of this I asked him if he even knew what a bikini was. He replied "mom, of course I know what it is... it's a small vegetable related to the zucchini!" Whew! I can breathe another day knowing that he isn't quite "there" yet!

What the rest of the world sees?

People say your children always behave well when they are AWAY from you. I never understood. Today I do. School pictures came home and now I know what my children look like to the rest of the world. I have never been one to have large portraits of my kids around the house. Too self serving I suppose. But these pictures I had to have. I bought the biggest ones I could (don't be scared 8x10's not 18 x 24!) Why? Because those faces, those poses, those angelic smiles - now I too can see what the rest of the world sees...

Kids say the darndest things

So I am new at this whole blogging thing so I have decided to go back in time a bit and recall some of the favorite things my boys have said over the years. Let's begin with Andrew.

August 2000: While Mommy was on the phone Andrew tangled up baby Max in the chords to the bamboo blinds. When I asked him if he understood what he had done wrong he said "did I tie Max up?"

September 2000: Today we did the hand motions to "here's the church and here's the steeple, open the doors and..." Andrew yells out "all the people come out to get a donut and something to drink!"

November 2000: Today I heard baby Max crying so I looked around for him and found him head first at the top of the stairs trying to go down with Andrew holding him by the ankles saying "I'm saving Max, mama!" And he did. Thank you big brother!

January 2001: I asked Andrew if we should have more babies and he answered "I don't think we should do that, mama!" When I asked if he wanted more brothers he said "Max is growing up to be a brother - he's almost there!"

March 2001: One night Andrew was scared to go to bed so we sang "God is bigger than the boogie man" compliments of Veggie Tales. When we were done Andrew said "well can you go get Him and bring Him in here then?!"

When Andrew was about 3 years old he decided that mommy's boobs were his "pillows." One day walking through the lingerie section of a local department store he points to the bras and exclaims "look mommy, pillow cases!"

When Andrew heard the expression "make a wish upon a star" he asked if we could do that. I said sure and that we would wait for a nice clear night when all the stars were out. He replied "okay, but how do we get up there?"

There are so many more, but we'll save those for another day.

A not so little problem

So tonight I dropped off our minivan to be serviced before we hit the road for Memorial Day. The service tech mentioned that they do a free carwash and asked if the van had any scratches we needed buffed out. I said no but he quickly pointed to a scrape of red paint on our rear bumper. It took me a moment to recall where that paint came from and then I remembered...

One morning the boys were getting into the van to go to school. They immediately started arguing about whose turn it was to sit in the front. Max (6) is screaming and Andrew (9) is protesting. The volume gets louder and louder. I become more and more irritated as my attempts to settle their dispute are thwarted. In my rash state, I decide to back out of the garage with a sudden jerk to get their attention and then I hear it... crunch!

My husband had slept in because he wasn't feeling well and bang! I had crashed into the front of his car. Crying and distraught I moved his car and got back into the van - you could have heard a pin drop. We proceeded to school in silence and as I pulled up to the curb to drop them off, Max (my 6 year old) leans over and hugs me and says "Hey mom–sorry about that little problem we had back there."

latest crisis.

Two days ago Max lost his front tooth. He wanted to take it to school so I put it in a baggie for him. That evening he realized he had left it at school. He went to sleep crying because I wouldn't call the principal and have him come unlock the school at 9 p.m. so he could get his tooth to put under his pillow. (I am such a horrible mother!)

Last night I was out with my girlfriends and my husband put the boys to bed. He had Max put his tooth under his pillow (I knew nothing of this.) At 6:30 a.m. Max comes leaping into my bed screaming that the tooth fairy doesn't love him because it didn't leave him anything for his tooth! (I am thinking, I am going to physically harm my husband when he gets home!")

So half asleep I crawl out of bed and tell Max I will go check for myself. Instead, I run to my office and grab a dollar from my purse and come back to bed and slide it under my husband's pillow. I tell Max that perhaps the tooth fairy left the money in our room because he usually comes to our bed in the morning. He checks under my pillow and says "forget it, it's no use!" I encourage him to check under my husband's pillow and after much prodding he complies. When he finds the dollar he yells "I thought I was supposed to get $10 for a front tooth!"

Can you ever win?